Are you feeling out of control in your life? Letting people walk all over you? Upset and frustrated because you don’t get the respect you should? I urge you to recognize that do have a choice, but in order for you to wield your power, you have to first recognize it. You can shine your light and be who you are no matter what the circumstance, despite all odds and regardless of who tries to bend or break you.
Are you letting people walk all over you? Feeling upset and frustrated because you don’t get the respect you should?
Recently I came across this incredibly inspiring 4 minute video advertisement for Pantene hair products and wanted to share it with you.
It’s about a young deaf mute girl from Thailand who yearns to be able to play the violin. As with all of us, she is faced with many unwelcome and difficult circumstances, personal conflict, doubt and plenty of people who try to limit her dreams and clip her wings.
For me, it really hit home. Despite the fact that my book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In” is now available, the past two years I hit a ton of roadblocks that made it feel to me as though I’d never finish the book.
During that period, it seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong, did. It was a very painful time and due to the harshness of the circumstances, I was tempted to give up more than once. Yet something always pushed me to keep going. It was almost as though the universe was asking me, “How badly do you want it? How badly do you want to finish this book?
How about you? Have you ever felt as though you were being challenged or prevented from accomplishing something that you wanted so badly you could taste it? Is there a song that remains unsung and chained up in your heart? What will it take to set it free?
I feel that the message of this video is to teach us to recognize that we can shine our light and be who we are no matter what the circumstance, despite all odds and regardless of who tries to bend or break us.
How My Limiting Beliefs Kept Me Stuck
For many years I was tied to the belief that because I was fat, I was unworthy so I let people take advantage of my good nature all the time. I wanted so much to be liked, loved so I always put myself last and never considered my needs first.
Back in 1985 when my father couldn’t run the family real estate business any longer, I stepped in to help out. Leaving school and finding myself in the position of having my father as my boss, was a huge blow to my self-esteem. Our once very close relationship, had devolved into a business transaction. During those years I never felt appreciated or respected for my contribution.
Despite the fact that I always loved school and pulled straight A’s, I began to think of myself as stupid. I wouldn’t correct my father when he would constantly criticize and cut me down with his sarcasm.
Feeling inadequate and judging myself for not finishing college has been a huge stumbling block for me for so long.
Now looking back on the experience, I realize that I felt like a victim and because of that I acted as though I had no control in my life. But I did. I just didn’t know it.
Because I never took steps to demand respect, I let people walk all over me, talk to me with disregard and belittle me. I convinced myself for such a long time that because I hadn’t finished college, I had no value in the workplace and that I was really just the landlord’s daughter.
Thinking that kept me complacent to earn far beneath what I was worth for a very long time. I was a woman in power, who allowed herself to feel powerless. In reality, I was a woman running multi-million dollar residential and commercial properties and yet every week like clock work, I wrote myself a check for $150. I did that for nearly 18 years.
I was knocked out of my people-pleasing trance when I joined a women’s empowerment group and was able to see my situation from a fresh perspective. That’s when I stepped up and faced my fears and gave my father an ultimatum to sell the properties and give me 49%.
On the strength of a verbal agreement, I negotiated the sale of the properties for $10.5 M and in the end, I got nothing. Now my father and I are estranged and we don’t communicate. But I miss the old dad who used to be so wonderful to me before those years when I ran the business. So I deal with that sadness and work on releasing it consistently. Ours became a very toxic relationship and it was time for it to end.
The lesson I learned was to never let others put me down and call me names. Unlike the rhyme, sticks and stones, names can hurt you just as much as physical pain.
It took me 2 years of feeling sorry for myself, licking my wounds, being on welfare and almost losing my home to realize that nobody would come to my rescue and if I wanted to get out of the horrible situation I was in, it was up to me to do it. That’s when I realized that I had to stop crying for my losses and get up and focus my energy on moving past them. I had a painful lesson to share with other women to empower them so that they may never experience what I did.
That yearning was strong enough to push me to overcome so much adversity that threatened to hold me back during those years, with the exception of being resistant to become a speaker for fear of being called fat. I was terrifed that I would be judged.
Then one day I was inspired by seeing famous author and speaker, Jessica Weiner present herself on the Tyra show as a body image expert. Being a plus size woman, I was blown away at her degree of confidence and knew that if she would not let her size inhibit her greatness or her message than neither would I.
That was when I knew that I had a message to deliver and that in order to do so with the greatest authenticity, I had to recognize that I was already perfect exactly as I am. That’s when I changed the title of my book to “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In.”
How ’bout you? What dream are you putting on the back burner each time you forget how amazing and special you are?
My challenge to you is to remember that you are unique in every way. And despite the fact that others may have offers that are similar to yours, or people don’t believe in you or criticize you, you are needed. There are specific people whom you are meant to serve. They’re waiting for you. Don’t give up your dream. I know I won’t.