Ever since I wrote my first book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In” I’ve used it as my own bible of empowerment. It’s a daily reminder to the reader that they are worthy and lovable. During my most challenging times, I kept my attention focused on following my RECLAIM Method. Here is the breakdown:
R – Take 100% responsibility for your life. No blaming. No whining. Take responsibility for yourself. Make your life as drama-free as possible. Steer clear of negative people. Gatekeep and protect yourself from harmful influences. Avoid spending time with people who aim to tear you down. You are always creating reality. The three things you have complete control over are: what you say, your thoughts (the pictures you have in your mind) and your actions. You can’t change what is in your present but you can alter the course of your future by changing your response to your reality. All possibilities exist simultaneously.
E – Embrace your emotions. Everything is energy. Emotions are your secret source of power and energy. You can take any emotion that you label as negative and transform it into whatever fabulous feeling you want. Whatever you feel is valid. Nobody has the right to tell you how to feel. Respect and appreciate you emotions. The power of your emotions is the catalyst you need to power up your life.
C – Cope with your stress. Get a handle on your stress before it gets out of hand. I prefer to use tapping and meditation to keep me calm in the midst of any chaos.
L – Love your body. Besides doing anything you can to be kind to your body, self-love means setting boundaries with yourself and others.
A – Act to attract. Take actions daily on what you want to manifest in your life.
I – Set a powerful intention. Keep hold of a vision of a better, stronger, healthier you living in a brighter future.
M – Mastermind – Surround yourself with a circle of support from like-minded people who love, respect and appreciate you.
Focusing on my RECLAIM Method enabled me to focus my energy on seeing the bigger picture to love and stay true to myself no matter what.
My goal in using my Lovin’ the Skin You’re In book to inspire me to make changes in my life was to give me a path to follow and remind me of my strength. After enduring so much loss I knew I had to take action to change my life and improve my situation. I needed the daily reminder that I was worthy of having a better life.
I like to say that I found my perfection in the folds of my imperfection. This choice to be okay with myself now, as I am, no matter what, was what I needed to end the ravenous hunger that drove me.
Despite all the difficulties I’ve faced,
my husband’s death
losing my home
being forced out of my apartment
losing my job
losing my office
having my car repossessed
and being hungry standing on the line for the food pantry this past February, I continue to manage my emotions using tapping. Everything I do today is in service to having a better life for myself tomorrow and into the future. I have no desire to obsess about food as I used to when I was a size 22/24 doubting my power and hiding from my life.
Decades of dieting, emotional eating and food fear kept me believing the answer to having a better life was to get thinner. All those years I swore my life would change if only I would lose x amount of pounds.
My pursuit of weight loss for so many years kept me looking for validation outside myself. Now I know my life won’t change by what I eat. It will change by how I live. Using food to suppress my feelings or distract me will only work for a minute. No foods are forbidden because the problem is not food or my body. It’s learning to live with myself and be at peace at every stage of my life.
I change my life and I gain strength and confidence daily by using my voice, speaking out, blogging, learning, acting despite my fear, asking for help, facing my shame, confronting uncomfortable emotions, doing difficult things, expressing myself, creating videos, writing books, and stretching myself in every way I possibly can.
What I learned as I’ve walked through hell is that the weight we carry is the consequence of unresolved pain in our life and as we face those uncomfortable situations and emotions, our weight disappears. And when we resume using food instead of taking action to change and improve our lives the weight will return.
As I reiterate in my book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In” you have to love and respect yourself at every size because if you don’t,you’ll never feel safe enough to shed the layers of protection the extra fat on your body provides.