Have you been holding onto a grudge, feeling like you’re stuck in the past? If you’ve been struggling with overeating and feeling helpless as you watch your weight creeping back up the scale, you’ve been feeling the press of stress. Many times we just overeat because we feel so darned stressed and don’t really have any idea why.
Not knowing what to do to get out of the loop of shame, we blame ourselves for all the things we did wrong and go over in our mind all the shoulda, woulda, couldas that keep us living, regretting the past. It’s an endless cycle that can only lead to your destruction. I know because I’ve been there. Here’s a bit of my story:
B Is for Blamer
During my earlier years in business, I hadn’t yet stepped into being The Juicy Woman I am today. The realm of New York City real estate was my training ground and that’s where I cut my teeth in learning about business. In the 1980’s male dominated world of Manhattan real estate, being a female boss made me feel like a fish out of water.
My grandmother and I ran the family real estate business and managed 3 residential commercial buildings in Manhattan, with 110 tenant families and a 40 machine coin-operated laundromat.
For years I made the huge mistake of not giving myself credit for all that I had accomplished during those years. I waited patiently to be validated and appreciated. I never noticed the feet that were trampling on me were really my own because I didn’t think much of myself. I didn’t actually step into the power of my position until my grandmother passed away. That’s when I got my first sense that I was getting a very raw deal.
When I finally got the courage to make my demands, I wasn’t smart enough to protect myself by hiring my own attorney. Not only did I ignore my intuition, but I also turned a deaf ear on all the caring people and good advice they shared. In the end, all that was promised, was never delivered and my family and I lost everything.
For years I called it betrayal, backstabbing and any other number of terms that passed the buck of responsibility onto other people. I cried and grieved and suffered through the pangs of depression, and ate my way up the scale, all because I was so brokenhearted. My husband and son were enraged enough for all of us. For 11 years they urged me to take action to reclaim what was rightfully mine.
Reclaiming My Dignity by Taking Responsibility
Finally one day after 11 years of whining and crying and feeling so ashamed and stupid, I was able to get angry, really angry. It was that fury that gave me the freedom to move forward and finally drop the poor little stupid victim burden that I had been lugging around. Once I stepped into taking responsibility for my circumstances, they changed. That was the beginning of my RECLAIM system.
I wanted to share this because I know firsthand how feelings of isolation, rejection, anger, sadness, betrayal and resentment can chip away at your soul.
The ‘ R ‘ in my RECLAIM system stands for responsibility. Take 100% responsibility for your life. Nobody would ever dispute it. There is so much that happens that isn’t fair. People die. They lose loved ones. Disease is everywhere. Bad things happen to good people. But shaking your fists and blaming yourself, or anyone else, isn’t going to make your problems go away.
Look at all the good, bad and ugly in your life and own it. It’s yours. It’s not going anywhere until you accept it. I call it claiming your shame. I’m not talking about blaming yourself, or others, or shrugging it away. You are now exactly where you need to be.
There’s no sense whatsoever in crying about spilled milk. By putting a fresh spin on your life and accepting the here and now, you have the power and strength to change it.
You have the most incredible power to manifest whatever you want in life. You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control the way you respond to them. There are three things that you have direct control over in your life.
The words you say.
The thoughts you think,
The actions you take.
You can begin the shift of change in your life by starting to focus on what you can control. Don’t waste 11 years like me whining and wanting to know why things happened the way they did. Your time to shine is now.
So let me ask you–
Are you taking 100% responsibility?
Keywords:
Andrea Amador, The Juicy Woman, grudge, resentment, betrayal, isolation, sadness, rejection, coaching, women, emotional eating, beat the blues, anger, EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, real estate, overeating, weight, stress, binging, hunger,
Excerpt:
Have you been holding onto a grudge, feeling like you’re stuck in the past? If you’ve been struggling with overeating and feeling helpless as you watch your weight creeping back up the scale, you’ve been feeling the press of stress. Many times we just overeat because we feel so darned stressed and don’t really have any idea why.
Not knowing what to do to get out of the loop of shame, we blame ourselves for all the things we did wrong and go over in our mind all the shoulda, woulda, couldas that keep us living, regretting the past. It’s an endless cycle that can only lead to your destruction. I know because I’ve been there. Here’s a bit of my story: