Are you running ’round each day in a pair of sweats and an old baggy tee shirt just because it’s comfy? I used to do that because I just wouldn’t allow myself to invest in new clothes before I had my perfect body. But I’ve since had a change of heart. Let me tell you why you just can’t afford to be stingy with yourself anymore.
Andrea Amador, The Juicy Woman, body image, confidence, What Not to Wear, Stacy London, Clinton Kelly,
Are you running ’round each day in a pair of sweats and an old baggy tee shirt just because it’s comfy? I used to do that because I just wouldn’t allow myself to invest in new clothes until I had achieved my perfect body. But I’ve since had a change of heart. Let me tell you about it.
A couple of years ago I walked into a Lane Bryant store to do some shopping. I wasn’t expecting much because I wasn’t willing to really take the time to look or try things on. I just wanted a quick fix, whatever fit me first– a pair of sweats, a big shirt – end of story.
But as I reached down to pick up a t-shirt off of a nearby table, I looked up and noticed a poster of a woman shapely and curvy like me wearing a variety of outfits the store carried. I later learned this gal’s job description is a plus model.
That day I broke out of my sweat pant/t-shirt rut and bought a bunch of beautiful clothes because I was able to see a variety of different cuts, jewelry, colors and style combinations and visualize them on someone who actually looked more like me.
The truth is it can be really tough to fit our curvy bodies and shopping in the wrong stores can be a harrowing experience. If you’ve ever tried to squeeze into a pair of pants two sizes smaller, you know what I mean.
Still today many national stores carry plus sizes, but let’s be honest, they’re ugly as all holy hell. For the most part, despite the fact that curvy women make up 65% of the market, plus size clothing has been sadly ignored over the years, But things are picking up and plus size fashion is beginning to take a turn for the better so there really are many more choices than ever before.
As a coach, I’ve always got my senses tuned to seeking out role models. Fascinated by the impact that simple poster had on me; I began digging deeper and wanting to learn more about plus size models. Not because I wanted to do professional modelling, but because I wanted to learn from these women. They possessed a secret I wanted to learn and share.
I was so impressed to see that women who aren’t stick skinny could actually be professional models. It got me thinking what kick butt confidence they must have acquired over the years. It can’t be easy putting yourself on the line every day, having to push beyond your comfort zones to look and feel photo ready all the time.
I want to share with you the ocean of resources that they use to be beautiful and confident and feel great lovin’ the skin they’re in – Because when you look great. You feel great. And I don’t know about you, but I’m in no rush to get thinner. I’m happy with the new relationship I have with food and my body and more interested in maintaining my health than dropping in size.
If you really think about it…Bodies, I mean. We all have them. They come in different shapes and assorted sizes, but what makes one shape or size better or more desirable than another? Who says only thin women can be beautiful and sexy? Who made these stupid rules? Who says if you’re a big, plus size woman you can’t wear sexy clothes? The truth is you can. But you probably don’t, because you don’t think you should.
Maybe you’re waiting to dress your best or invest money in clothes for yourself when your arms are perfectly toned or your tummy is flat or any and every other part of you is exactly the way you want it. Big mistake ’cause times a ‘wastin’ and running ‘round in ugly baggy clothes while you wait to become perfect, isn’t going to make you feel any better about yourself. In fact it will only make you feel worse. The truth is there’s no rule that says you can’t rock the body you have.
Ready to get out from under a fat and ugly self image, and stop thinking of yourself as a fashion disaster? Then here’s some advice for you from a couple of well-seasoned style experts who have spent years devoting themselves to empowering women to love their bodies.
Clinton Kelly and Stacy London are hosts of TLC’s show, “What Not to Wear” and authors of the book, “Dress Your Best: The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That’s Right for Your Body,” In discussing why it’s important to dress the body you have, not the body you want, they say,
“What we’ve learned is that looking good now will help you feel better later. Walking around in oversized sweats makes you look like you’ve given up. And you may start to internalize that feeling. So this is one time in life when a quick fix can actually have long term effects. We’ve seen it hundreds of times. Don’t wait for what may or may not change about you in the future. You are perfect now. So read this book and get shopping.”
As Clinton, Stacy and I agree what you wear has a profound influence on how you think and feel about yourself. If you want to accept the body you have today and pave the way for a different version of you to come in the future, the trick is to dress the body you have, not the body you want. That’s a lesson that I’ve really taken to heart. It’s changed the way that I think and feel about myself. Since I’ve realized that I’m worth it, I now spend more time putting myself together and looking great. That boosts my confidence like crazy and I feel fabulous having much greater respect for my body than I ever did before. I know that if I can make peace with my body as it is, then you can too.
Are you freaking out about your body? Can’t stand it? I’ve got news for you. As long as you spend energy hating your body, you won’t have time for anything else. Self-acceptance is the key to your happiness and health. Want to know more about tools you can use to get over your body blues?
Join my next teleseminar on May 15. It’s called, Tap into the Power of Self-Acceptance.” Can’t wait to meet you.
If you’re an emotional eater, your brain is wired to eat whatever is in front of you during times of stress. Here is a simple little exercise that I’ve created to share with my clients which creates an effortless change of habit around meal times. Give it a try and see what you think.
If you are a gal struggling with trying to eat in response to your body’s natural signals of hunger (also known as eating intuitively), yet you are continually consuming more than you want at each meal; this exercise might be helpful to you. It’s called the
Middle of the Road Slide
As soon as you sense that your physiological hunger is beginning to get satisfied, take your plate and move it to the right or left, out of visual range.
Resist the urge of wanting to do anything to destroy your food, such as wetting it, tossing cigarette butts or tea bags on it or pouring salt, pepper or hot sauce on the remaining food.
These are all old diet tricks that have been taught to us to fool us into thinking that we’re full. Unfortunately these games convey negative messages to your subconscious mind that you can not be trusted around food.
This can lead to feelings of deprivation and loss and ultimately trigger a desire to binge.
The purpose of this exercise is to give you more choices, allowing you to take your next action from a position of strength. If you would do anything to destroy the quality of your food, that would defeat the purpose and cause you to feel cheated.
Middle of the Road Slide Exercise
1. At the midpoint of your meal, pause and stop eating your food
2. Take a deep breath
3. Slide your plate out of visual range, either to the left or to the right, not directly in front of you
3. Focus on feeling the sensations in your tummy.
4. Ask yourself these questions:
How satisfied am I feeling now?
What would I like to do next?
This is an opportunity to recalibrate your hunger and to reassess your level of satisfaction.
By moving your plate out of visual range, you are interrupting a well formed pattern that has been etched in your brain over time. In Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP, you are doing what is known as Collapsing an anchor. An anchor is a stimulus that stirs the brain to remember something that holds a special meaning. In this case, the anchor is to have a plate of food in front of you and to feel compelled to reach for what is in front of you and eat it, despite not being hungry anymore. You are breaking that pattern and creating space for a new behavior by asking yourself what would I like to do next?
As emotional eaters, we have been conditioned to see food and respond by eating what is most visually accessible. This simple exercise puts a new spin of awareness on what you are doing. It makes your choice to continue to eat a conscious one instead of a knee jerk reflex.
This exercise is one of many that I offer in my upcoming, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In” program. Previously known as Losing Weight without Dieting Program, the program combines Intuitive Eating skill with the kick that can only come from energy coaching. If you’re seeking to reclaim your power over food and eat what you love and lose weight naturally without the pain of dieting then, run don’t walk to register for my next session starting on May 4, 2015.
Andrea Amador, effortless, intuitive eating, emotional eating, fat, obesity, anxiety,