If you’re an overweight woman, you’ve probably been taught to think of your body as unacceptable, unlovable and undesirable. This kind of negative thinking reinforces a poor self image and it will keep your eating spinning out of control. If you want to change the size of your body, you have to first begin by upgrading your thoughts. Being a hottie isn’t just reserved for those skinny minnies that you see on magazine covers, living at the gym or on the screen. Being a hottie comes from having confidence. And that comes from knowing that you are okay with yourself as you are. Changing the things you can and letting go of the things you can’t. Diets aren’t the solution to obesity, self acceptance and learning how to make friends with food is. Find out how you can be a hottie at any size, stage and shape.
http://thejuicywoman.blogs.com/my_weblog/2010/12/how-to-be-a-hottie-loving-yourself-through-the-layers.html
Yesterday as I was working on the editing of my book, I came upon a passage that I wrote about a year ago that I had to really think about again. I was writing about the pioneer beginnings of the non diet movement started by Dr. Carol Munter and Susi Orbach. They made a statement that I quoted in the book that gave me real pause to think. Let me share it with you:
“If you can experience yourself as existing throughout the fat, then when you lose weight, you will not feel you have lost a protective covering: you will feel you have become compressed. This is because if you feel yourself all through the fat then what is all of you is part of you. In giving up the size you are making an exchange – you swap the fat for your own body, and that is power.”
What’s that mean to you? I’ll tell you what I think. Like so many women, I realize that the excess weight that remains on my body is the result of a subconscious attempt to protect myself from parts of my life that at one time I was unable to handle. For many years I said that “I have a thin person inside of me that’s dying to get out.”
The consequence of saying that always brought up such disgust for the body that I had. I was barely tolerating myself because I felt that the real Andrea didn’t live inside the larger container that I was carrying around. Thinking and feeling this way gave me a real sense of being disconnected from my own body. Because I was always in a state of being disconnected from my emotions, I used food constantly to give me that sense of grounding that I lacked.
Now today since I have made huge strides in gaining much greater self acceptance, I realize that the person I am doesn’t change because I am fatter or thinner. I am me, Andrea, whether I am big or small. It doesn’t really matter because I’ve learned to love myself through my layers of fat. The truth is I like this Andrea better than the other. As I continue to feel more neutral about my body and set aside my old angst, I find that I use food less often to comfort me and I do more things that make me feel good. The result of being happier with myself is that my body is getting smaller and I am losing weight.
I’ve learned to look at myself in the mirror and take my reflection with a grain of salt, because I know that as my thoughts and feelings change on a daily and often moment to moment basis, so, too will my perception of my body. On days when I feel awful about my life, it’s so tempting to look at my reflection and point out my flaws, thinking that is the problem, but it’s not. I now know that I’ll always look fatter to myself when I’m miserable, and the best and the kindest thing that I can do is to just let go.
The way that I look at it is that I have found the least invasive approach to weight control there is. It works for me. I’m offering to share what I know with you. It’s up to you to choose. Easy or hard. Which path will you take? If you want a hand, I’m here for you.
Juicy Woman Note:
Can’t stop eating? That’s valuable information telling you something is wrong. Just like a tiger with a thorn in its paw, something is hurting you and causing you to feel pain. Overeating is a symptom. It’s not the problem. As long as you continue to do the same thing, you’ll get the same result. To change how you feel, you have to be willing to do things differently.
I’ve learned that when you remove the pressure of anxiety in your life, by learning to cope with your stress, you will stop hating yourself. Unless you handle what’s bugging you, your stress will only keep you running ‘round in circles, making you feel hopeless and helpless. You’re not, but unless you deal with the buggin’ you’s in your life, you won’t ever realize that.
overweight, love your body, Lovin’ the Skin You’re In: The Juicy Woman’s Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body, negative self talk