If you’re a women who struggles with the burden of carrying around a painful past from living in an abusive or violent situation, it’s often difficult to deal with the overwhelming flood of fear and emotions that bubble up from having those memories. Gaining a fresh perspective can often come from hearing other people tell their stories.
http://thejuicywoman.blogs.com/my_weblog/2013/09/patrick-stewart-video-speaking-out-for-amnesty-international-on-violence-against-women.html
If you’re a women who struggles with the burden of carrying around a painful past from living in an abusive or violent situation, it’s often difficult to deal with the overwhelming flood of fear and emotions that bubble up from having those memories.
Disclaimer: I want to state clearly that I am not a medical doctor and make no claim to have any ability to heal anyone. My work as a Professional Certified Empowerment Coach and Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming is focused on giving women a fresh perspective on their lives by sharing my story and offering them tools to relax and empower themselves.
In my case, there was violence and abuse in my background so I’m always on the lookout for videos and content that inspires me to see my haunts and hurts from an empowered perspective.
I found this wonderful video created by actor, Patrick Stewart where he addressed an audience at Amnesty International at the launch of “Created Equal” a new book on women’s rights.
In this video Patrick shares his experience as a boy from the age of 5-12 of living with his parents and siblings in a violent household.
I deeply respect Patrick Stewart for sharing his story of living with violence. As he says, “it shines a light on dark corners where bad people don’t want you to look. Darkness is the friend of repression and cruelty and torture and it is light that extinguishes the darkness. I want to hold a candle and spread light to others. As a sexual abuse survivor, I’m inspired by Patrick’s honesty to share a piece of my story to show you that it is possible to move past your past.
A Glimpse of My Story
When I was about 9 years old, my mother and father divorced. Despite wanting to stay with my dad, my mom had other plans. Soon after her divorce, she took my brother and I to live with her and her boyfriend, Jorge whom she married a few months later. I hated him.
After a short time of courting my brother and I and plying us with gifts and kindness, it became evident that Jorge was a monster. Whenever he drank, he was very angry, violent and abusive. He was jealous and mean. For years he sexually abused me. For most of my life I carried those scars of shame and pain with me and felt helpless each time I was reminded of those terrible times.
The paragraph below contains details which have been purposely omitted from my “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In” book. If you’ve been sexually abused and easily get upset reading about abuse, skip to the next paragraph that has been emboldened.
During those years of living under Jorge’s reign of terror, I lived in a violent household, but was rarely physically hurt, yet every night I remember standing by and feeling my body clench as I watched Jorge viciously beat my 5 year old brother, David. Jorge rarely beat me, but because he was so intimidating, and I was so afraid of him, I didn’t tell my mother that he sexually abused me and passed me around to all of his perverted pedophile friends until long after I was safely out of their home, living peacefully with my father and stepmother.
For years I held onto my anger and hatred thinking that would always protect me and ensure that I’d never be hurt again. But as I learned holding onto resentment and anger only hurts the one who’s holding on. By choosing to let go you will free yourself of the pain of holding onto the past.
In the video, Patrick described his father as a “weekend alcoholic” meaning that during the week, Monday – Friday up until 5 p.m., his father was a model of virtue. Then from his first drink at 5:00 and for the duration of the weekend, he wrecked havoc in the home brutally striking out at his family and venting his anger and frustration on them because in Patricks’ words, “he lost control of his hands.”
My stepfather, the beloved math teacher to so many children, lost control of his hands—with me, with my brother and with his daughter, Lily and I don’t know how many more innocent victims. I’ve lived with the guilt of not telling for so many years, and let him continue to hurt me because I felt that I deserved to be punished. Are you feeling those kinds of pangs of regrets?
If you’ve ever lived with anyone who lost control of their hands and hurt you or those you loved, in the process, you know what it’s like to live in fear.
Because I was so traumatized by my experiences as a child, I didn’t trust most people, not even myself. I spent a lot of years hiding, not wanting to be seen, anticipating the worst, turning friends into enemies, letting jealousy and anger control me, creating much of my own misery, trying desperately to use food to soothe the aches inside of me.
I could find every excuse in the world to eat, but no amount of food could quench my real hunger. I wanted to feel safe, and be loved and appreciated.
Years ago I was introduced to a powerful stress relief process called Emotional Freedom Technique. Based on the science of acupuncture, EFT works on the basis of using your fingertips to tap on different points on your face and hands to release stored emotional blocks in the body.
The latest research done in clinical testing with vets suffering with PTSD indicates that 1 hour of tapping reduces the cortisol levels in the body by 24%. All I know is it works amazingly and whenever I or my clients tap, it creates an instant sense of relief and release.
In a few minutes, I was able to release pain and memories that had kept me imprisoned for years. I understood that day why I had to forgive those who had hurt me.
Today I passionately go around to schools and other organizations and teach other women who have been abused how to break free using that very same process. It’s silly looking, but damn it works.
Using EFT, today I teach women how to reclaim their power by making peace with their past. Granted, a lot of women don’t have a past that is punctuated with the drama that I describe. But if you could imagine what emotional freedom would look to you, what would that be and how would it change your life?
I’d like to invite you to take back your power, and stop feeling shameful and sad about your past. You can transform your fear into power. Want to know more about how this powerful technique can give you back your life?
Join me every Wednesday night at 8:00-9:00 p.m. Eastern for my Blogtalkradio show, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In.” You can tune in and listen to the old archived episodes and check out what’s coming next.