With yesterday being Thanksgiving here in the US, did you overdo it? Was the pecan pie calling your name or was the stuffing so good you kept going back for more? Stop beating up on yourself. Want to find out how to get free from the body hating trap that’s keeping you in patterns of overeating? Well the answer isn’t pulling yourself up by the bootstraps and getting back on the bandwagon or depriving yourself more. Because you just can’t create lasting change by trying to arm wrestle yourself to doing something that doesn’t feel right to you. There is another way. It’s so simple. But it’s not easy. Find out how.
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With yesterday being Thanksgiving, did you overdo it? Was the pumpkin pie calling your name or was it the stuffing that kept you going back for more. No matter what you overeat or why, you won’t be able to move past it unless you find compassion for yourself. And that means that you’ve got to change the way that you talk to and think about yourself.
Most of us are disappointed and angry with ourselves when we overeat. Women especially assume that our tendency to binge means that we have no self control. We often privately think of ourselves as less than and without realizing it we allow our inner critic to run roughshod over us. That’s when the beatings begin. Beating up on yourself is a lot like complaining. Nothing is getting done, because a part of you has already shut down and stopped listening. You’ve become immune to your babble and self critical ways. What you need to get out of the self abusive loop that caused you to overeat in the first place is some good old fashioned TLC. Here are my tips for being gentle with yourself and physically treating your body kindly during this rough time.
How to baby yourself physically on those ‘fat’ days
On those days when you overeat and you feel fat, you’re having what I like to call a ‘fat day.’ A fat day is when you feel fat everywhere, even in your bones. On these days, the best thing to do at a time like this is to be as loving and gentle with yourself as you can. Recognize that nowhere on any list of feelings does the word, “fat” appear.
Fat is not an emotion. It has nothing to do with the fat on your body and it has more to do with what’s going on in your life way beyond your relationship to food. Be curious and willing to look at whatever is going on now in your life and see if you can find how that might be making you feel angry, sad, rejected, disappointed, depressed, frustrated, confused or any other emotion that might perhaps put your body on overload.
By identifying the real culprit and source of your bloated emotions, it will reduce the stress level that you feel. Dr. Nancy Bonus, the creator of the Beyond Dieting Program says, “learn to love yourself now as you are. Realize that permanent change requires a climate of love and nurturing, not self loathing and disgust.”
Are you ready? Here are several of my tips for creating a physical climate of love and nurturing guaranteed to get you over the hump of those very vulnerable ‘fat’ days:
Avoid the scale – First step away from the scale, don’t even go there. It gives your inner critic far too much power and it’s only going to make you feel terrible. Stop using the scale as a measure of your value; value yourself for who you are.
Get clean – Seems silly but I’ll say it anyway, take a shower or bathe. On these days, you don’t want to add insult to injury by getting more upset because you’re smelling yourself, and not in a good way.
Fragile: Handle with Care – As you step out of the water and dry yourself, be extra tender and if you don’t already do so, pat yourself dry gently, as you would dry a baby. Next you might like to find a wonderful scented lotion or oil and rub that all over.
What to wear – As you choose what to wear, keep in mind, comfort is key. Wear undergarments and clothes that give you plenty of ease and feel good. If you have something to wear that’s especially soft or furry, or any other textured garment that has a delightful ‘hand’ feel which reminds you of being comfortable and warm, then choose that as long as it fits and does not bind.
Make up? Decide how make up feels to you. Does it feel like it would cheer you up or is it a big pain? Personally for me, on those days, I would never wear make up, because I just want to be plain and simple, Andrea. You decide what’s best for you.
What to eat – You may probably be really uncomfortable from overeating at your last meal and perhaps you don’t want to eat anything or maybe you have a craving for something that reminds you of comfort. Do your best to pay attention and listen to what your body wants. Do what feels right, allowing your emotions to guide you. Remember it’s all part of the learning process and every step that you consider to be a mistake is all part of the plan. It’s all good.
Question Your Binges – The next time you overeat ask yourself the following questions:
- What’s happening?
- How am I feeling?
- How have I overcommitted myself?
By asking the above questions, you will be able to guide yourself to change your perspective. You’ll switch from blaming mode to being more compassionate. These questions will put you right back into the present moment so that you can see what is going on in your life that is causing you to reach for food when you’re not hungry.
Retrain Your Brain – The things you say to yourself in your own head have a big effect on what you think about your body. Replace your old self critical tapes with loving and kind words. Be lovingly curious, not critical. Imagine talking to yourself softly and sweetly as someone who loves, respects and adores you. If nobody immediately comes to mind, make up an image of the ultimate nurturer and use that as your new model for changing your self talk.
emotional eating, intuitive eating, dieting, food obsession, Andrea Amador, The Juicy Woman,