Years ago long before I made the decision to go meatless, my husband, Angel took the kids and I to enjoy one of our favorite restaurants, UMe Sushi, a Japanese steakhouse in Nanuet, NY. I used to love eating there because the food was always wonderful and the atmosphere was such fun. I was having a ball nuzzling with my hubby and laughing with the kids.
I ordered Hibachi Steak for dinner. I told the chef exactly how I wanted it. I said, I’d like it well cooked on the outside and very rare on the inside and please don’t trim it. I thought I made myself very clear but evidently there was some misunderstanding.
As the chef was preparing the steak on the hibachi table, I watched him trim the fat from each of the four steaks on the grill. Quietly I sat, mute as he scooted each of the trimmed portions of fat into the waste pocket on the side of the grill.
I wanted to scream at him as he proudly presented me with his version of what he thought I wanted, pieces of dry, overcooked steak. Bleech! I felt the window of opportunity had passed and decided that there was no sense in telling him that I wanted the fat and that the meat was overcooked. I kept quiet and consequently my playfulness instantly toned down.
I turned to my husband and shared my upset with him. He helped by expressing his understanding and making light of it. Soon we were all laughing about it. My daughter, Cara suggested that I should have gotten up on the table and sang, “Stop, in the name of Fat” My 15 year old son, PT said that he wished that he had money on him today so that he could order me another piece of steak and ask the chef to leave on all the fat. With the help of everyone in the family, they managed to cajole me into seeing the importance of saying what I really wanted, and being certain that people understood me.
During the ride home, I asked myself, “Where did I go wrong?” Then it came to me. I didn’t use the “F” word… Fat. I asked the chef not to trim my meat. He didn’t get it. He didn’t know what trim meant. He was probably as embarrased as I was to admit that he didn’t know what the word “trim” meant and I was equally embarrassed to admit that I like to eat fat now and then.
My guess is that I uncovered a bit of fat phobia in me. I felt uneasy blatantly stating at the table that my preference was to have the fat on the meat. Saying that seemed more bold, more vulnerable and so I covered it up by asking him to “not trim the meat”, a formidable attempt at communication but it got me nowhere, since we were both speaking in different tongues.
The thing is if I would have said clearly what I wanted and just let it go, I would have been able to enjoy the meal that I ordered and it would not have been cause for any additional attention.
I don’t know about you but the next time that I intend to enjoy a steak, I’ll ask for the fat. That will surely disarm its power over me. By taking steps to ceremoniously and guiltlessly enjoy what I want to eat, that is the only way that I can truly find out if I even like it or if I am continuing to react to its former forbidden nature.
That was a long time ago, but a landmark event in my life that taught me to ask for what I want and take steps to go after it.
Do you have any foods that you are a bit ashamed to admit that you like? Come on now, if I can admit that I like to chew the fat, literally then you can surely feel safe enough to share your secrets with me. I’d love to hear your feedback. Leave a comment and let me know what yum yums you consider forbidden fruits.