In our society, when a child cries, a pacifier is stuffed in their mouth. It’s not nice but it is quick, easy and simple. It promises a quick solution for the child, no more pain for the exhausted parent, and it would seem that everyone is happy.
Perhaps when you were a child, you remember times when you fell down and skinned your knee, mom would offer you a cookie or perhaps you came home from a bad day at school, she would greet you with a pan of warm brownies or cookies straight from the oven. Despite how you grew up, regardless of whether mom was a whiz in the kitchen or couldn’t boil water, you ended up loving food. Didn’t you? Me too.
These early habits that we were taught by the actions our parents took, created connections in our brain around food. We somehow connected up that food helped us deal with overwhelming emotions,both good and bad. This early childhood conditioning takes over every time we experience having a rotten day or whenever we get stressed out.
That explains why you want to reach for that Snickers bar when everything is hitting the skids or your in laws are unexpectedly coming to dinner or little Johnny’s football team won the game. Unlike our grandparents, we don’t eat anymore because we’re hungry, we’re eating because it became something to do when we didn’t know what else to do.
In my LWWd program, I teach women who are emotional eaters new ways of coping with overwhelming emotions. I offer them exercises and strategies and teach them to ask themselves questions that often lead to responses that usually direct them away from food.
Here’s what Kari, a therapist from British Columbia has to say about the program:
I am more discriminating about what I eat… not from a dieting perspective, but from a ‘conscious’ knowing perspective… for I tune inward and listen to what my body is really wanting/needing… is it food, a hug, a walk… what kind of food do I truly want?
Like Kari, other women are recognizing how often they want to eat when they are not hungry. They are learning to stop stuffing down their emotions and allowing themselves to feel those emotions the same way that they allow themselves to eat whatever they want. No restrictions with feelings or with food. In order to get control of either, both have to first be allowed to roam free. Are you feeling your feelings?