Weight Obsession is a national pastime. Most women say they hate their bodies because they are too fat. Being obsessed with how I looked has certainly been a big part of my life. I’ve spent years as a frustrated woman, bouncing back and forth from diet to diet, until I found Weight Watchers and followed through, going back as many as 20 times in an attempt to lose weight. Then in 2001, I finally reached my goal weight. I managed to keep the weight off for over 6 years, thinking that I had it all figured out. Yet my life was miserable. I was caught in patterns of overeating, overexercising and in constant fear of regaining the weight. I thought if only I could control what I was eating, I’d be okay.
Now I realize that the dieting was a part of the problem that distracted me from looking at parts of my life that were unfulfilling.
As a Master Practitioner in the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming, one day I learned that our weight issues are not our fault and they’re not a reflection of who you are. “There’s nothing wrong with you! If diets haven’t already helped you to lose weight and keep it off, they probably never will. Your tendency to eat when you’re under stress is no different from your inclination to automatically lead walking with your right foot or put your watch on your left wrist every morning before you leave the house. It’s simply a connection that your brain has had reinforced connected with deep emotion over a period of time. In the case of food, your brain equates food with comfort.
I knew intuitively that my reliance on diets to lose weight was only making things worse and making my life miserable. It kept me focused on wanting food and in the absence of not having any other way to handle my stress, I just kept eating.
As long as I relied on food to fill up the holes in my life, I kept on playing small, I stayed in my comfort zone, avoided risks, didn’t make any demands and kept on procrastinating, putting off and waiting for the right moment to live a juicy life.
Then in August of 2006, I made a choice to stop dieting. I’ll never regret it. Although there were so many bumps in the road, I’m now lovin’ the journey because I’ve realized that I do have control over food and it doesn’t hold dominion over me.
Now I no longer seek comfort from food like I used to and it has changed how I feel about myself and my body. Even though I’m not perfect, I like myself so much more than I ever did. Now I listen to my body, know when I am actually hungry and stop eating well before I get too full.
Today I’m no longer restricted by a diet. I eat what I want, when I want and pay close attention to how it affects my body and how I am feeling. Now I actually eat like a naturally picky eater.
I take the crust off of bread, smell everything before I taste it and throw food away right and left. In a restaurant, I’ll ask for the fat to be left on my steak and send it back if it’s overcooked, my fries have to be just the right color and crunchy, a certain size and never floppy. I prefer dark chocolate to milk, my soup has to be just warm enough but not too hot, and I will refuse anything if it’s stale or unappealing.
For the most part, I live by a new credo: I deserve the best because I’m worth it!
If I don’t love it, I’m not going to eat it. I am no longer a slave to food because I’ve learned some very important principles that have changed the way that I think about myself and my relationship to food.
Now when I look in the mirror at myself, I see all of me. I’m no longer made up of disparate parts. In order for me to truly begin the process of accepting my body I had to take steps to own my story. I’m a sexual abuse survivor and for years I tried to dissociate myself from my body. I stuffed down all my feelings and built walls around me to protect myself from harm. Now that I realize the desperate lengths to which I’ve gone to shelter myself with excess weight, I don’t see myself anymore as a pair of flabby arms, dimpled thighs or a tummy.
I see myself as Andrea, the survivor. I love myself as I am. I’m still on the road and haven’t yet arrived at my destination, but I am loving the journey. I’ve learned to make friends with all of me. That means that I even love my fat.
How about you? Are you a woman still playing the game of hating your body? It doesn’t work. You will never succeed as long as you think self-hatred and shame will get you thinner. After working so hard to lose weight, the first curve ball that hits your life can send you right back to the kitchen seeking the comfort of food. You don’t have to go back to Square 1 and start over. But you do have to learn other ways to cope with your stress besides eating. That’s why I create workshops for women to end their food obsession. To learn the secrets to reclaiming your power over food, you’ve got to learn to love and accept yourself now, flaws, faults, lumps, bumps, bulges and all. If you’re struggling with weight and food obsession, and want to overcome emotional eating,then join my Facebook group: 30 Days to Lovin’ the Skin You’re In.