As I finish the last 5 chapters of my book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In: The Juicy Woman’s Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body,” I notice that I go through cycles in my body that alternate between ‘fat’ days and ‘skinny’ days. In fact, oddly enough, they can actually fluctuate from hour to hour. Anyone who’s ever had a weight issue, knows what a ‘Fat’ day is. It’s when you think of yourself as fat and to you, you look fat.
I’ve learned now from experience not to pay any attention to the image that I see in the mirror on those days, because the excess weight on my body has nothing to do with why I am having a ‘fat’ day. It’s all an affect of stress chemicals building up in the body and the trigger effect of acetylcholine activating and plumping up your fat cells due to your body’s stress alarms going off.
In this particular case, I know logically this makes no sense, because just a few days earlier, I was fitting into clothes that I hadn’t worn in quite some time. Nothing has changed in my eating, only in my thinking.
The thing to keep in mind is that your internal image of how you see your body is what’s really important and you can hold a very slender and confident picture of yourself even if you are several hundred pounds overweight so please know that food has nothing to do with whether or not you are having a fat day. It’s a question of getting down and exploring what emotions have been twirling ’round in your head to create that sense of helplessness.
However I want you to know that often on days following a binge, it’s common to feel badly. I’ve written a lot more about this in the book, but here are a few simple things to keep in mind.
On the days when you’re feeling particularly fat, consider that your body is reacting to the stress that is going on in your life. You’ll notice that those ‘fat’ days always precede a string of stinkin’ thinking that may have dropped you down the chute into the basement of my mind. You know that dark, dank, stinky place that we all have where we are at our most insecure, frightened and weak? That’s the place. Here are several strategies to get yourself back up, dust yourself off so that you can continue to relax, make peace with food and friends with your body:
• Be gentle. When you’re down in the dumps, feeling fat and lumpy, baby yourself. Wear undergarments and clothes that are loose and comfortable. I love to engage my kinesthetic sense of touch and wear clothes with an especially ‘soft’ hand. If I can’t curl up in my chenille bathrobe that day, I’ll use a soft fluffy pillow when I take a nap or pet my cat.Oreo (Owie) If I’m on the road and have to work, I’ll wear something that will ground me, like a pendant or bracelet, ring or other piece of jewelry that reminds me of my Nana’s love. I have a glass tear drop pendant that is smooth and delightful to touch.
• Listen to Your Body. If possible, back off of any unnecessary commitments, and take it slow today. Do your best to nurture and mother yourself when you’re feeling low. Really embrace your feelings and go with the flow. Crying or tapping is a great release when emotions are high. Pay attention to your emotions and notice your thoughts. Ask yourself What am I feeling? Where in my body do I feel this?
• Be present. Rather than trying to swim against the current, beat yourself up and get angry with yourself or your body, just be in the moment. Hug, and stroke and thank your body for all the things that is does for you. Sure you may be overweight now, but as you continue to work on how you think about yourself, your heavy thighs will slowly and gently reshape and resize. When you can uncover what is really going on that is making you feel fat, there is gold there. Remember your fat days are really just days when your body is crying out for attention and love. Don’t give it a swift kick and smack, think of what you would have needed when you were a little girl and give yourself a big hug.
• Avoid the scale. On days when you wake up feeling blue, look in the mirror and notice that your face is all puffy and you look and feel heavier than usual, you won’t make yourself any happier or feel better by punishing yourself. Getting on the scale now would only hurt you more, keeping you stuck.
One of the most important things to do on those days, is find support. Call a friend or post to an online discussion group. Do what you can to honor where you are and uplift your emotions one notch at a time.
On days when you wake up feeling fat, treat yourself with love and be gentle. It may or may not have anything to do with what you’ve eaten. Learning to love your body and make peace with food is a process that takes time. Be willing to look beyond the obvious to find out what’s really behind those fat days.
fat days, self esteem, The Juicy Woman, Andrea Amador