The Power of Choice_(2) Most women, regardless of their size are insecure about their bodies. If you can relate to the struggle of being ashamed and frustrated, feeling tempted to hide yourself behind as much fabric as possible I want to turn you on to 4 of my favorite hot confidence-building tips to move you past the body hating blues.

I’ve struggled with hating my body for what seems like forever. I’m 53 now, and for 43 years I lived by the letter of diets, wishing and hoping that getting thinner would fix whatever I thought was wrong with me. In 2006 when I made the decision to stop dieting, that’s when I began to discover the confidence that I had long lacked.

As a curvy and confident certified empowerment coach and the proud author of the book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In, I coach curvy women who struggle with compulsive eating and hating their bodies to bust out of binging and body shame so they can feel sexy at sassy at every size.

I want you to know a secret. A diet is not the answer to your prayers and it’s not a guarantee of happiness. In fact studies show that nearly 98% of all people who lose weight on diets, regain it within the first 5 years. The reason why diets don’t work is because they fail to address the emotions that push us to overeat when we’re not hungry. So if you’re trying to lose weight and doing the diet deprivation dance, you’ll most certainly have a 98% of regaining every ounce you lose. To break the cycle of binging, you’ve got to be more self-compassionate and listen to the messages of your hunger. Stop putting off your living and loving and accept your body as it is, because that is the only way you will be able to begin the process of change.

So if you’re not happy with your body, you don’t need a new diet. Just a double helping of some fresh perspective. The problem is not your body. It’s the way that you think about your body. It’s all about attitude. Can you relate?

Lovin-the-skin-youre-in-tip-7-expand-your-definition-of-beauty Many women who struggle with weight issues, often fall into the thinking that their life will begin when they lose weight. They’ll have the confidence to wear a bathing suit after they get thinner. They’ll feel more sexy and eager to make love with their husbands after they tighten up their tummies. The new mom who just had a baby and gained weight feels pressured to hide out at home because she’s worried people will judge her. The newly divorced woman is ashamed of going back to the gym to get healthy because she’s gained weight.

All these situations represent precious time lost because we haven’t learned to love and value our bodies as they go through the natural changes of life.

Letting time slip through your fingers and realizing that you can’t get it back doesn’t feel good. If you’re not happy with your body, yourself or your life, you have to muster up the courage to change. I’m going to encourage you to take hold of the reigns and recognize that you are in charge of your life right now. Nobody and nothing else has power over you–but You!

Here are 4 of my most successful tips that helped me move past my own body loathing into the land of more loving.

1.When you’re out in public and you notice yourself comparing your body to slimmer women, take a wider glance and look around and notice how many women have the same shape and size of body as yours. Pay attention and notice what women really look like.

2. Put yourself in an atmosphere of acceptance and inclusivity. Find a group that you can join either live or online. There are Meet Ups, church groups, school and social groups where you can find a gathering of like-minded people who will support you in feeling appreciated and accepted.

3. And as I often share with my group coaching clients in my Curvy & Confident Coaching Club, if you feel insecure about your size, seek out women role models who are a similar shape and size to yours who have already accomplished what you want to do. You can go the celebrity route and browse the web, or read books or magazines or even do a Google search and find bios and photos to inspire you.

4. One of my absolute favorite go tos for fashion and inspiration is Plus Model Magazine. (

I can’t tell you what a joy it is to see page after page of beautiful plus size women oozing confidence from every cell of their bodies.
I always recommend Plus Model Magazine to all of my clients who are looking for role models to guide them to feel gorgeous and sexy in their bodies.

Overall the biggest secret to being at peace with your body and feeling more at ease around food is learning how to treat  yourself with love and respect in all areas of your life. Maybe you’re often down on yourself because you are carrying excess weight and struggle with binging and emotional eating. Talking to yourself harshly and trying to use guilt and shame as a way of curbing your overeating, won’t work. If you want to break the binge cycle in your life, so you won’t feel compelled to eat a bag of Oreos, you’ve got to take a No shame, No blame approach. It’s a process and it starts with a spoonful of self-acceptance.

If you’re playing the weighting game and procrastinating on living life and rockin’ the body you have, then I can help you solve that. I invite you to join my new Facebook group, “30 Days to Lovin’ the Skin You’re In“. There with the support of other women, you will get a chance to attend live Google Hangouts and get tips and inspiration from me designed to help you bust down your binges and brush away your insecurities and learn the tools to creating more confidence so that you can get started lovin’ the skin you’re in, right now. Click the image below to learn more and join: