If you’re struggling with a fat and ugly self image, dieting is not the solution for you. Unless you change the way that you see yourself first, you’ll always think of yourself as being cursed. Your change must start in your head before it can manifest in your body. Seek out role models and opportunties to help you to see yourself and your body in a new empowered, loving light.


IStock_000005456387XSmall Are you thinking that because you gained weight you’re fat and ugly?

Recently I spoke to a woman who said just that. She told me that since she gained so much weight over the years now she thinks of herself as just a big ‘ole fat and ugly pair of thighs.

It made me want to cry, because I get it. I know what it’s like to feel that way, but now I want to share with you how to get out of that hurtful and obsessive loop of disempowered thinking. And it doesn’t involve getting thinner. No, no. I’m talking about changing the way that you think about your body. Not changing it’s size. A perception correction is what you need.

Your Body Image: The Mirror of Your Mind

On Twitter, I recently shared a link to an article I wrote several years ago entitled, “Body Hating: Who’s That Fat, Ugly Woman in the Mirror?” I wrote the article because I lived for years thinking and feeling that way about myself, swearing that because I had fat thighs, I could never be beautiful. Wanting to find out why I and so many other women hated our bodies, I did some research and discovered why we often don’t see ourselves as we really are.

I learned about the importance of changing your attitude in order to accept and even eventually love your body. So I focused on finding ways to think about my body and my shape in more empowering ways.

During the course of time that I was writing my book,”Lovin’ the Skin You’re In: The Juicy Woman’s Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body,” I sought out many different role models and opportunities that could provide me with the path to self-acceptance I so desired. Since I’m always fascinated to see what drives people to do the things they do, I’m a huge fan of reality TV.

Body Affirming TV: How to Look Good Naked

One day I heard about a new type of makeover show called, “How to Look Good Naked” Since it focused on empowering women from the inside out, I knew it was right up my alley. As I sat watching the two pilot shows back to back, I was mesmerized by how gentle and caring Carson Kressley was in his position as host of the show. He is warm, funny and endearing and a true supporter of women who struggle with emotional issues that undermine their self esteem.

After I watched the show, I decided to contact several of the women who nominated themselves for these inside out makeovers. I was blown away by their interviews as I listened to each of them tell how they hated their bodies before, and after seeing themselves in a new light, they loved themselves.

It was an incredible transformation that came from correcting their faulty perceptions. Aside of the usual basic makeover, hair, makeup and clothes, the big change that they all shared was an internal one. It was almost as though they saw themselves transform from ugly ducklings to beautiful swans.

Perhaps like me you’ve also been sold a bill of goods and you’ve been thinking that the problem is your jiggly arms, your droopy breasts or some other part of you that you despise. You couldn’t be more wrong. The problem is the way that you see yourself. That’s what you need to work on to be happier.

Your Body Love Challenge

So my challenge to you is to go out and find women whose bodies are similar in size and shape to yours. But the catch is you need to seek out women who are already demonstrating that they are accepting their bodies and rockin’ what they got. Hint: If you set your sights on finding these women, you will.